The Cloud of Mom Guilt

Updated: Nov 14, 2020


I struggle with this constant feeling of trying to impress someone with the way I mother my daughter. It’s this subconscious expectation that I need to be perfect. I need to do everything exactly how the books, blogs, and articles say I should despite my current situation, despite my daughter’s mood, despite my exhaustion, despite what my heart and my gut are telling me to do.


However, I am well aware that parenting and perfection are not concepts that go with one another.


No mom is perfect.


Despite this knowledge why, when I don’t do things exactly the way I am “supposed” to, do I feel like I’m breaking the rules, do I feel like I have to explain myself to other moms or individuals in my life, feel like I’m screwing up, why do I have this cloud of guilt hanging over my head?


I know I can’t be alone when it comes to this feeling. Yet where did this feeling come from, how did it develop?

Is it because there is just too much information out there that influences our ability to go with our gut and our heart when making parenting decisions and instead we try to lead with our head?

Is it because we somehow feel like if we follow all of the recommendations we read and hear about that maybe we will come an ounce closer to “perfection”?

Is it because we are constantly smacked in the face with the concept of the “perfect” baby and family on social media?

Is it because we have lost the ability to be compassionate with ourselves despite being able to be compassionate for others including our children?


I don’t necessarily have the answers, but what I do know and continue to remind myself is that my daughter is loved, she is fed, she is healthy, she is happy (most of the time anyway) and she has no idea whether or not I am doing things the way I am “supposed” to.


I also know that being a good mom is not measured by whether or not your baby sleeps through the night, how fussy your baby is, if your baby eats all of their food, and if you accomplish everything on your to-do list when you want to.


I know that being a good mom involves hard work, lots of patience, strength, courage, and perseverance.


We show up every day regardless and that is good enough!!

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