The Journey

Today (October 27th) I took Ellie to the doctor.

It’s crazy how much she has grown in 6 months.

Our once 4lb 8oz baby is weighing over 14lbs now. She is sitting up, recognizing faces, teething, laughing, and everything else in between.

Where did the time go?

The first three months of Ellie’s life were an uphill climb. She wouldn’t breastfeed and I could never put her down. When I did make the attempt all she did was scream her little head off. I held her, I wore her, I rocked her, I cuddled her and the list goes on and on. She was in so much pain due to her reflux and it killed me to see her like that, but also made me feel like I was going to lose my mind.

I honestly felt like I was never going to see the light of day.

Tears came on the regular and I often questioned whether or not I was really cut out for motherhood, despite it being what I had always dreamed of. I tried my best to just keep my head above water.

But our world is a little different.

My sweet girl’s personality is coming through and BOY is she an absolute firecracker. She has started to outgrow her reflux and has blossomed into this energetic ray of sunshine. Despite wanting to jump in my car some days and drive far far away or wanting to lock myself in a dark room and sleep for 24 hours, I would not change this journey for the world. It’s not an easy journey - it’s one with many bends and breaks in the road, but with that comes so much sunshine and joy you often don’t even know what to do with it.

But, there is also darkness and rainy days. The hard part is the stuff you DON'T think about when you picture getting pregnant and having a baby. It’s the stuff you seldom hear about when you are pregnant,’s the stuff you are often faced with once you step into motherhood. And when you do, when you reach the hard part and are full of all the FEELS, I want you to know this....know that these feelings are normal, they are valid, and that you are not alone.

This journey is just that.... a journey. It comes with highs and lows and twists and turns, but know that the phases will go by quicker than you think and in the end, it will all be worth it.

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