Sometimes, You Get Everything You Never Knew You Needed

We all know the phrase, "timing is everything." Sometimes, we plan and wait and what we hope and dream for seems to be lifetimes away. Other times, in the blink of an eye, things happen that you really could have never planned for and exactly what you need falls right into place.

Today, I want to share a little about the timing of Leo's birth and how meaningful it was to my family.

Nolan and I were always on the same page about having kids. We had been married just over three years and wanted to have kids one day, but it wasn't a top priority at the time. Then it almost seemed like overnight we changed our minds and decided we were ready.

For me personally, the decision had a lot to do with the fact that I had suddenly lost my maternal grandfather a few months prior. This was the biggest heartbreak that I had ever experienced in my lifetime and it was unbearable to face the reality that my grandfather would never know my children. The experience just made me realize that there really wasn't any reason for us to wait any longer.

Anyways, I was a bit of a pessimist and figured it would take a while before I got pregnant. I had no idea that it would happen right away and I almost felt undeserving of it. Why did I get lucky when so many deserving women wait so long for this blessing?

After Leo was born, I realized that there was a purpose behind the timing of his birth.

I'll rewind for a second to when I was 38 weeks pregnant. My father had just been diagnosed with an aggressive form of Leukemia. The anxiety induced by the diagnosis was nearly all-consuming, but thankfully I was distracted by work and last-minute baby preparations. Fast forward to two weeks later, Leo was born. For a brief moment, all was right in the world. Leo was here and healthy, and we were all overjoyed.

The next day, my paternal grandfather passed away; another devastating loss for my family.

We had been hit with blow after blow in such a short period of time. Now my family was mourning the loss of both my grandfathers while my father fought for his life. This was nearly more than we could all handle at one time.

Leo was a shining light through this dark time for us. On February 9th, when Leo was one day old and I had just lost my grandfather, it hit me- there was a greater purpose behind the timing of his birth. In the midst of overwhelming sadness and anxiety, our precious and totally unaware newborn gave us overwhelming joy. He was a gift to us and on most days he was what kept us all going - in a lot of ways, Leo saved us. I don't think that any of us will ever be able to truly express how much he means to us and how much he has helped us this past year.

Now, as we approach Leo's first birthday and reflect on the year he had with us, I understand more than ever that often our plans don't work out the way we think they will; we plan, we wait, and maybe wait some more. Other times, we don't plan anything at all and our lives change in the blink of an eye.

Then sometimes, we really do catch a break and we are blessed with just what we need, exactly when we need it because sometimes.....timing is everything.

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