Is it just me or is everyone else’s kid but mine sleeping through the night?
Anytime I see a mom post about their kid sleeping 12-14 hours through the night I am flooded with so much emotion....anger, jealousy, defeat, sadness, frustration...it makes me feel like a failure. I know that some of these emotions stem from the lack of sleep I get and then I feel guilty or wrong for feeling this way, but it’s honestly how I feel.
What am I doing wrong that my kid can’t figure out this sleep thing?
I have tried all of the tricks, I follow several sleep consultants, and yet she STILL wakes up. Maybe I see these sleep positive posts more because no mom out there is going to be bragging about being up all night with a kid who keeps waking up, but maybe if we did see some more of those types of struggles it would normalize this situation a little more.
My daughter's sleep isn’t terrible, but due to her size we have been instructed to feed her once a night if she wakes up. Typically she wakes up once a night, sometimes twice. She has slept through the night once and that night I kept waking up to check the monitor to make sure she was okay (go figure).
It’s hard not to compare your kid and your life to others around you, but... we have to try and remind ourselves that what we see on social media is not the full picture. Let’s face it, most of what’s on social media are the happy, joyful parts we want everyone else to see. No one shares the all-nighters, the blowouts, the screaming fits, the tantrums, and everything else in between. But this selective sharing tends to feed into this unrealistic expectation/goal we subconsciously set for ourselves that we know we can never achieve.
To be honest, I contemplated whether or not to write or share about this for fear that others would get defensive or lash out at me, but I decided to share because I want this space to be a place we can share ALL of our feelings, even the ones others may not agree with.
I know I cannot be the only one feeling this way.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for the moms out there whose kids sleep through the night and who can get more sleep than I can....but jeez do I wish I was in the same boat!
It is in these moments that we have to remind ourselves that every kid is unique and that makes their needs different. We have to trust in our gut and our ability to be a mom and resist the urge to compare ourselves and our kids to others around us. It’s easier said than done and we are human, so it’s something many of us will probably do every once in a while. But if we can at least attempt to shift our thought processes and practice some self-compassion and understanding towards our own unique situation, we may slowly notice a change in how we feel and how we view ourselves.